The Devil’s Smile
June 28, 2007
 
My duty remained unseen
Unclean from the blood he spilt
My blood
Tilted cup that runneth over
Hovering above his halo of thorns
That saintly reputation
Faintly reminiscent of the beatings he gave me
Unreal!
Waving to my friends and family
With a sly grin
The devil’s smile
While I called him a fuckin bastard
But only in my head
Remembrances of lashes
Slashes and black eyes
Covered bruises
I thoughts my cards were stacked
And he was the bad hand dealt
A royal flush
Down the toilet of life
And I am now a battered exwife
They thought I was in a land of milk and honey
Sweet and funny
But instead was bitter
Almost as bitter as the taste of blood on my lip
Those slips I made
Unaccepted apologies I gave
The “ I…. Fell ….Down the Stairs!” excuses
The nooses I wish I knew how to tie
I thought I was going to die by his hands
And the all familiar chant
“He only does it because he loves me”
Very deep bullshit I dealt
Meantime with welts on my back
The way he hacked at my self worth, dignity
No more crap!
My sap has run dry
I will no longer cry
Kneel and beg
Hold onto his leg hoping for redemption
Fu ck him!
Fu ck him and that white horse he rode in on!
I was a fool
But no more
What my core has in store for me
Unlimbered Athena
Suited up for life’s battles
Reality was not my source of pain
He was
And now that I am loose
Free to choose, no abuse
I can use my strength
Of womanhood and muster a quote for this shallow man
Out of luck
Out of my black and blues
Missing a few screws
I will share with him my only clue
F uck You!
Red, White, and Blue
June 28, 2007

America is my native land
Where I stand rock hard and immobile
Stuck underfoot
Soot covers me
From ashes of ancestors
Burned on crosses
Hung on trees
Pain in degrees unknown to me
Sewn into my skin like a logo
Lost and found
Sounds of creaky chains
Haunt the ships which pass in my night
And the sites where blood spilt
On black feet with no shoes
They couldn't choose the lashes which would form my destiny
And the rest of me cringes
At bombs bursting in air
For fear of Yankee Doodle coming to hang my Pops
I stopped whitewashing the brown and black stains from my American flag
Torn and tattered like my history
Mere clues to the truth
That ugly disguise every 4th of July
As fireworks fly
And Uncle Sam wants you
To forget, close your eyes
I remember where the roots and seeds of hatred were sewn
And grown tall for my Daddy's hanging noose
Where was Red White and Blue then
Just a notion, while Whitey spewed forth taunts of Grampa's pain
And haunts of necks and ankles shackled with shame
That was the American way
Swaying was that flag so proud
While we sang songs underground
The railroad still hums the tune of blood spilt
And kilt is the idea of HIS STORY for me and you
As the tale seeps through that Red White and Blue

Oral Penetration
June 28, 2007
Feeding impulses
Immaculate conceptions, redemptions
Redeeming virginal concepts grasped
Unclasped in spite of your half assed ideas
Property of minds
Shut out
Unbought, unsold, unrefined
Well proportioned imperfections
Perfect unequivocal dissymmetry
No need for your correction
Of my thoughts
Wasted time and energy
Measuring out my words, creativity
With literary scales
And grammatical rulers
Reincarnated cells
Indifferent to physicality
Seeking out my own spirituality
A casualty of everyday life
Awakened in the night by oral penetration
Shaken in my day by verbal stimulation
Hunger to feel pen
Thirst to feel paper, underneath
The quaking soul that is me
Personification through false titles
Unnecessary, scary, and rather frightening
I quickly clutch my purse of mental chaos
That is so comforting to me
Channeling borrowed earth, wind, and sea
Visualizing a world without me
Constant heavy petting
But no mental fu cking
Exposing my breast of ethereal rhyme
Milking them for poetry, prose undefined
Nectarous lyrics spreading their wings
With flight from my lips to bright moonbeams
Sending down rays of elation
Oral penetration and verbal stimulation
And as I come forth my audience
Breathing in
Coughed up text book dust
Confused, bemused by their learned scholars
Second guessing rules of thumb
Fingering our ideas with raggedy nails
Failing, Hailing themselves for published works only they read
I move on instead to my published works
One copy sought, bought, gilded, and bold
Clinging to me as remnants
Of time never sold, displayed
Cloth of pain
Now dull and frayed
Changes I made
Repairs that came with
Long awaited intense copulation
Between my thought and a pen
Exhalation of unclouded emotion
Leaving only
Oral penetration and verbal stimulation