in my heart of hearts, i am loving and kind.
i am thoughtful, and honest.
i am interesting, and interested.

in my heart of hearts i love myself, and my family, and i have lots of friends.

in my heart of hearts i am responsible.
i am creative, and full of life.
i am wise and compassionate.

in my heart of hearts i am the consummation of all the lies i have told myself all these years to make life livable.

in my heart of hearts i house the masks that allow me to be anything to anyone.

in my heart of hearts i am the horror of my own childhood dreams. a shape shifting mysterious female, gaining your trust one moment and in the blink of an eye, transforming into a laughing hideous monster.

in my heart of hearts i have come to realize,,, that she is me.
i have done everything i could to keep her safe, and warm, and numb, so that she wouldn't feel the need to breakdown the facade i have worked so hard to erect,,, to keep me safe from all of those i have fooled into believing i was real.

in my heart of hearts i know,, should they find out the truth, their wrath against me would be great... and i would need somewhere to hide.