Never Try My Soy Sauce Combination!

I'm sorry. I should never have tried to take on the soy sauce lobby. No sooner did I put up my little (insignificant, really) observation regarding the benefits of a concoction I came up with to defy the ravages of the sun, than my e-mail inbox became deluged with angry responses from those inclined to prefer their soy be utilized as a condiment exclusively.

I had no idea folks were so touchy...

Really, please accept my heartfelt apologies. I take it all back. NEVER employ just the right combination of teriyaki, a little soy, Worcestershire sauce and a liberal splash of Liquid Smoke in any sort of poultice designed for anything except consumption as a foodstuff.

Honestly, don't try it... ever.

Not even if you're planning a trip to southern France and you only have $1.37 left to buy suntan lotion with... not even then should you consider employing just the right combination of teriyaki, a little soy, Worcestershire sauce and a liberal splash of Liquid Smoke. It's simply out of the question.

Now, go have a nice day, all you poor, white-and-doomed-to-remain-so-since-you-can't-afford-Coppertone-caucasians. I'm sorry I raised your hopes only to have to dash them because some members of a large and powerful group feel it's inappropriate to be innovative. God forbid someone shakes a little precious soy sauce onto something other than white rice...

I was only trying to help.