Description
JO JANOSKI resides in Pittsburgh, PA, USA with her husband, Ron.
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Free Fall
Sweet!
Another strong addition...
The only quarrel I have with this poem is the concept of 'showers rush' vis a vis 'tapping on leaves with rustles'. The idea of 'rushing' tends to jolt me, whereas 'rustles' tends to impart feelings of gentleness. The two seem to be at odds with each other. Also, I'm trying to figure out why it's a 'night forest' rather than a 'day forest' and the importance of the distinction. Other than that, the piece is very nice, imparting an overall feeling of nature's playfulness. |
Posted by Bubba at 01:20 PM, August 12, 2007 |
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Good Point
JO
Good point! I think it would be better if I said "showers rain" ... about the night rain--that's just me. I was standing by the window the other night and I could hear the rain out there in the darkness. The combination of rain and darkness got to me in a soft spot. Thanks for sharing your idea! |
Posted by JO at 01:32 PM, August 12, 2007 |
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free fall
| i am in no position to critique anything,,, as most of this poetry stuff is first time out for me... but i really thought you did a wonderful job on this.... |
Posted by paisley at 08:47 PM, August 12, 2007 |
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