Caddy Anyone?

            So, I'm 16.  Woohoo!  Its about time I got  rights around here for a change.  It's also time for me to start making some big money.  I know!  I'll become a caddy.  DO NOT DO THIS!  In the one week that I was a caddy, I had the pleasure of dealing with some of the most immature, arrogant, A-holes, that dwell on planet earth.  It is unfortunate.  Are some American citizens really that obnoxious?  No wonder, every country hates us.  It is amazing to see grown men, yes, 45 year old men, talk about topics such as money competition , dug use, the glory days of high school football, and best of all, pornography.  It is unfortunate that I did not caddy for some women.  Maybe they would be a little more mature.  No offense to the guys.  But come on gentlemen.  There are other important topics out there than just mindless disputes over which actress you would sleep with.  And so here my story begins...only to end up in a world of hell.

            O.K, so after three days of my boss not even speaking to me I finally, out of the blue, got to go out.  Man was I nervous.  I was very considerate to my golfer.  But he...not so much.  He threw his bag at me, didn't shake my hand, didn't look me in the eye, and said no more than four words to me: "Hi, my name is Richie."  After each shot I would give a brief description of where his ball was.  It would go something like this...
"Your ball is the_"
"The one that's round and white... yeah I know."

          What an ass.  Oh and did I mention that he was a hockey player as well.  Yeah...you know those hockey players.  So that's what I dealt with for the remainder of the day.  The dude even started yelling at me for standing 15 feet behind him when he was taking his shot.  I must admit, it was a truly horrendous shot.  but the fact that he blamed it out me was absurd.  He shouts, "Your in my peripherals god dammit!"  It was 15 feet!!!  And he has the nerve to call out an innocent 16 year old.  Not that I'm a bad caddy, but that man probably lost more golf balls that day than I did last season.  And I'm not the best golfer around, I can tell you that.

            And so the day progressed...miserably.  I ended up getting a 55 dollar tip.  This was not bad for my first caddy outing.  I was exhausted.  Talk about loosing weight, this can definitely help a lot.  My next outing was an actual tournament.  The real deal.  I didn't mess up that much and my golfers were very nice.  However, you sometimes run into some less than reputable characters along the course.
Let me paint a picture:

          The opponent golfer was on the fairway is to the south of this photo and I was on the top of the bunker in the photo.  Somewhat out of the way, right?  So this golfer, his name was Denis, hits a terrible shot over the green and into out of bounds.  He then comes storming up the fairway...throws his club to the side...comes right up to my face...and screams, "F*** you."  and walks off. 

          I had no idea what had hit me.  Nor did I know what I had done to deserve this.  Of course this guy complained to my boss and said that I had been completely in his way and that I was very rude to him.  Who is my boss going to believe...the paying customer, or the new, young caddy?  That's right.  It's times like those where you just gotta say "F*** my life."
         That was it for me.  I got fired.  I kept my cool and tried to explain what happened but a caddy really has no power on the golf course.  I'm now a life guard at my swim club.  Oh and what do you know...Denis, the ass hole that yelled at me, belongs to my club.  Yeah..... FML.
Whose Your Daddy?,
JoeyBloggs            

Comments (0) Permalink July 31, 2009


Welcome to my Page

Welcome!  This is not a boring old blog.  I can almost guarantee that you, who ever you may be, boy, girl,  or maybe both, will have at least one laugh while you journey through my page.  If there is one thing in life that should be cherished, it would be, in my opinion, the moments that you will always remember.  They can be life changing, eye opening, embarrassing, first experiences, and many other events that occur in any life.  Me...I just focus on the funniest moments.  You know, the ones that you look back on and nearly fall to the floor laughing your brains out.  Yeah, those moments.  After all, "There is no drug more addicting than having a good laugh."  And yes, I just quoted myself.  So, enjoy!  Laugh with me.  Construct a positive attitude to the start of each day.  Oh and you may probably see that I have no entries yet, but in a week or two be prepared to laugh so hard you'll have to dry your eyes. 

Whose your Daddy?,
JoeyBloggs

Comments (0) Permalink July 31, 2009